I heard just the phrase “I am evil” as I flitted into consciousness.
What terrible news something like that might be bringing. I wish these bad tidings would stop. That Blessings, angels protecting me would clean these negative things out of my world.
Love light and good things only allowed in and the shadowy aspects thrown out.
Maybe this is leaving for good.
Maybe things will turn around.
I tried to be more positive today.
Still ran into brick walls.
Not sure what is in the air but the last few weeks have been filled with insanity compared to my normal everyday life.
I had to buy a mouth splint 500 dollars.
My dog got sick and I had to take him to the vet. 200 dollars.
Then I was hit while coming home from work. Found out it’s being totaled today from the impact.
And 2 days ago my Facebook was hacked.
So im back on WordPress. I need some outlet obviously.
Hopefully the Facebook will get fixed quickly.
Hopefully the insurance company will give me enough money for a new car with out drowning me in car payments for the next few year. I just had it payed off.
What to do when someone you love bashes the things you love with unconscious uncaring remarks?
I try to step up and mention how they never really put much into the subject therefor couldn’t really know them at all.
It still hurt to feel their dismissal though. Why not just love the other person and ignore the bad?
I think all anyone really wants in life is to feel like someone thinks they’re special. Someone believes they are beautiful. And that someone is there unconditionally for them.
I found out an hour ago my newest schedule for work is completely insane.
I use to be all morning shifts. Then it turned to nearly all midshifts. And this past schedule I’m working till midnight.
I shouldn’t have checked it right before bed but I wanted to make sure about my tomorrows schedule was what I thought it was. This is when I found out about it.
I’ve run every emotional rollercoaster since. Have I angered the management team? Are they getting rid of me by running me off with bad schedules? Why are they doing this?? I did the half cry of desperation and bargaining with God. He didn’t answer any questions. I guess it’s just a wait and see thing. Sometimes it seems like my world is falling apart slowly. And I wish to be anywhere but here.
They (management) certainly doesn’t care what their employees lives are like. They just want their cash from the bonuses our strife makes.
At some point I forgot that life is simple.
You wake up and breathe in air.
You put your feet on the ground.
It’s simple really. The rest of the world can move on without you.
Last week was my first time doing #gishwhes (greatest international scavenger hunt the world has ever seen). It was an amazing week. I had very little sleep and felt like a zombie at work.
My team of 15 (I only knew 1 in real life) was fantastic. Artistic and imaginative.
I only did about 7 of the over 175 items on the list. And I must admit to not knowing what some of the items even were. Like the below picture. What do you do with that?
I would wake up in the middle of the night thinking “how can I help my team” or “what can I do next on the list?”
There were no “o woe is me” moments. It was all about other people.
We gave ice cream to first responders dressed as faries.
We were attacked by giant bugs and had to defend ourselves with plungers!
And one of my favorite pictures from this week was turning a street sign into reality.
I found “red shoe run road” and thought I could pull it off. And I did.
My team mates also did some fantastic work. Like our collage from above.
And defending the world from invading drones.
One of my all time favorites was the Green Eggs and Ham Dr Seuss entry.
And the entry where you had to dress your pet up as a celebrity and get a photograph with them.
Jack Hannah we all love you for this! 🙂
There was a lot of helping your community too. Like planting trees so that we all can breath and survive!
And making people happy by bringing them food or watering plants.
The week was packed with things to do and people to see. And I would do it again in a heart beat.
I love my team.
Occasionally through the years I’ve written letters to express things that I can’t express normally. It’s very freeing to sit down and write exactly what you need in a given moment even if it’s just that eternal ear.
Believe me. God listens. He cares and he is there for you.
When life gets a little too tense and jumbled up taking a quiet moment to write can be very helpful.
Love the words. Love the flow.
They walk in and out of our lives
Those beautiful tragic moments
Continuation of a story long forgot
Forever a part of you
I’ll always remember your name
The beautiful dramatic tragedy that is my love life.
Lol. Just a fraction in time.